Sweet Freedom

Quite often I flash back to living in California, and I re-visit the year or so when I got to lead worship.

I mean REALLY lead worship.

I was trusted. There was no one waiting to grab the microphone from me. There was no one telling me when "worship time" was up.

There was no one telling me to stand still, quit screaming, or sing on tune.

I was free.

I could lead fellow worshippers in "Oh Praise Him" for a half hour.

I could scream, cry, and my personal favorite- DANCE- all I wanted!!!

Oh, to express my heart, the deepest parts of my heart, to my God.

To my God who is SO worthy of the highest praise!

My feet couldn't stand still!

HE DIED FOR ME!!!! HE SAVED ME!!!!

My heart feels as though it may pop with praise!

I need an outlet. I need to me again!

Not that leading worship is the only way to be me....oh, but I loved that time.

The praise was so unhindered, so loud, and so pure.

I'm ready for a time, a new time, where sweat pours down my face once again, my feet hurt from dancing, and the song is madness as I gasp for air to belt out note after note.

Even if it's in my bedroom for now, Oh Jesus, let it be.

Set me free.

"Make a JOYFUL NOISE oh you people!! Shout unto God with a voice of triumph!"

It's HOODIE Time!!!

It's officially the time of the year that all Floridians look forward to: Hoodie Time!!!

Ok, not everyone calls it that, but it's my blog. ;)

Last night it reached the 40's outside!! This is so exciting!

There's something so precious, so sweet about the Fall season.

I don't know exactly what happens, but suddenly I feel creative, inspired, and excited!

I love taking walks without sweating.

I love staying in and drinking coffees and ciders, while eating something warm.

I love the colors of fall.

I love wearing scarves and warm socks!

You get the point....I LOVE FALL!!!

The past three weeks have been.....ummmm....interesting.

I started a new job, which I LOVE!

But honestly, the first two weeks of that new job were extremely difficult for me.

I found myself holding in ALOT of emotion during work hours, and once I arrived home, the floodgates opened!

I began having anxiety attacks: heart racing, 200 lbs of pressure on my chest, and lots of tears.

I felt like I was in a deep, deep hole and couldn't see the end in sight.

And then the truth set me free.

The truth that I NEED to grieve properly. The truth that I NEED to let it out- tears, screaming, sobbing, lauging....anything!

The truth that it's OK to still be crying over my Daddy.

And boy, do I feel like a new woman!!

No more anxiety, no more stress, no more holding in the grief.

The Lord is good and His beautiful mercy endures forever!!

PS Here's the latest pic of me and Josh....I so LOVE him!