New Season...

On August 10, my sweet Daddy passed away.
He was my best friend (besides Josh), secret keeper, safe place, and the one who understood me more than anyone.
It's been 2 weeks to the day and wow...the Lord is good.
Yes, I still have my breakdown moments and I know there will be more to come...but the heaviness and overwhelming sadness are not an everyday occurance.

Josh and I have officially moved in with Mom and Erin.
This has been an extremely difficult thing for me...believe it or not!
I feel like my life is CHAOS sometimes. But in the middle of it all, I know the Lord is approving and I know we're doing the right thing.
Our little start of our life together is packed in boxes and stacked in the guest room at 1130 SE Preston Lane.
Our residence is now in the OTHER guest room, complete with a bed, table, and dresser.
Sometimes it's still hard for me to swallow...I've tried to avoid unpacking as many boxes and suitcases as possible. If I unpack, it means settling...and settling means staying longer than I want to.
All lies of course, but still a challenge for me.

Erin has finally started school...and boy, is she EXCITED!!
I've never seen the girl study and what do ya know?? Tonight she went to her room early to STUDY!!
I'm so happy for her! She's been wanting this for quite some time, and it finally happened for her. At last, her heart and school are on the same page.

We leave for California in two days. I'm super excited!! For one, Josh has never been to CA and I'm so excited to show him my last home. And two, I can't wait to see people that I love! My kids, the Lizottes, and so many other families: STOKED!!!
Oh and three: We're getting TATTOOS!!! I haven't been tattooed in SO long and I'm beyond ready!
There is one thing I'm not necessarily looking forward to...my dad's memorial service #2. We seem to be handling everything so well, and I'm scared that this service will awake sorrow...again.

In the middle of all of this, I can honestly say that God is good. He is not mean or nasty. And I love Him...yes. Even still.

Changes....BIG Changes...

For the past two weeks, my Daddy has been in the hospital. What we thought was a minor stroke turned into 2 cancerous brain tumors, 2 brain surgeries, and so far, 2 weeks of recovery & 2 weeks of hospital visits. What a challenge!!
-A challenge to selfishness to step back and sit on the back burner.
-A challenge to our new marriage to stand strong in the midst of fear that has never reared its ugly head before.
-A challenge to believe "impossible" promises.
-A challenge to see with VISION, not with sight.

I'm home now, with my husband, trying to get back into the swing of things. But even that is hard to do as we are working on moving back to St. Lucie County. We have sent out resumes, applications, and looked for housing online.
Our house is half packed in boxes in hopes of being able to pack up soon. The other half remains unpacked...what if things don't work out like we want them to?
Today I felt that familiar FAITH in me again.
That faith that refused to cry when the doctors told us that we would need to decide if wanted CPR or just a comfortable "going."
That faith that was stubborn enough to believe that Daddy would be talking more to me soon than I was talking to him.
That faith that refused to believe anything less than restoration....completely.
THAT faith. I felt it today.
We'll be out of this apartment and into a house, out of Orlando and into PSL, out of our jobs and into new ones....before we know it.
I just know it.
My Jesus, I love Thee....really.

Joy

I long to be a woman of JOY again. I desire to be unoffendable...to laugh off the jokes and the lies....to know who I am and smile. I want a carefree spirit again....to be fun and fearless....to truly enjoy people and know that I am being enjoyed in return.
Teach me Holy Spirit. I need a new lesson in JOY!!

Journal vs. Blog

I have to be honest...I've had a pretty hard time deciding if blogging is for me. I mean, you're talking about a girl who's filled up about 11 journals in the past 10 years! There's just something about a pen and a blank piece of paper- like starting a new year or having a birthday. There's a freshness about it- a chance to make something of it that has never been. It's irresistable to me!
I may become addicted to a fresh white screen and a keyboard at my fingertips- but I highly doubt it. LOL!! If there's more than one blog after this, ENJOY!! If this is the only one, then I guess I couldn't shake my old-fashioned ways. :)
Em